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10-Feb-2018 12:22

I’ve been to an Al-Anon meeting but it’s not enough.

Often, finance, children and other circumstances prevent any simple solutions.

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It’s something like finding yourself holding a hot panhandle and gripping all the more tightly the more it burns. I also encourage you to respond to other postings with a few words of appreciation, support and ideas. There are many more readers of this dialogue than there are responders – you have an interested group here and we want to know what happens. Try viewing your dilemma as four-pronged: Choice 1 would be that you decide to leave your wife and that you do so in the most careful, strategic manner, doing the most that you can to ensure this unfolds as becoming the right choice.

Choice 2 would be that you leave in a way that magnifies the potential for a negative outcome, say by being mean, impulsive or passive, neglecting the care of your self, your social network, financial interests and so on.

Question: I cannot bear my wife’s alcoholism any longer. I’m continually moved by the vivid descriptions of the carnage that addiction causes, and the impossible “you choose, you lose” dilemmas faced by exhausted, isolated partners.

Most of my friends tell me to leave her, and my family tells me to stick it out. Note: I first wrote this answer as a way to talk about methods to approach tough dilemmas, and since that time it has grown into the forum you see now.Aired 9-10p ET • Deputy's Congressional Testimony Contradicts Flynn's Russia Plea Account; Interview with Congressman Adam Schiff of California; Trump's Lawyer Claims President Cannot Obstruct Justice.